How to write a review about a restaurant (10 tips plus examples), do background research. Be a customer, not a reviewer. The natural response to an attack is to defend yourself quickly. The problem here is that a quick response means that you didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it carefully.
Before responding to any criticism, stop, take a deep breath and walk away. Take a day to think it over and sleep. When you've had enough time to release the adrenaline of your anger, you'll be able to deal with criticism again. Accept criticism for what it is.
The critic must take his head out of his turtle shell, look around and make a gesture, with his chubby legs, towards the sources of dissatisfaction. After having had time to resolve the problem on your end, now is the time to respond to criticism. But no one in the restaurant, from the chef to the waiter, can do anything better than they can simply because they know that there's a critic there, and nothing can be done to ease the pressure that your presence adds. A subsequent visit by Giles Coren to the venue resulted in his brutally brilliant, but clearly fair, comment.
I would have imagined that these were mole strips poached in Ovaltine Review, an extravagant celebration of the collective victory of extreme criticism. However, criticism and complaint are related enough to know that there are a lot of complaints and that most complaints have no effect.